Effects on Working Mothers and Children in Creches: In this era of nuclear families, the greatest anguish for today's working mother is having to leave her young children away from her—in a creche—for 10 to 11 hours a day. Although these innocent children, weeping inconsolably as their mothers leave, may not be able to articulate that they desire nothing but their mother's presence at any cost, their behavior raises a multitude of questions. Both mother and child endure the stress of this separation; consequently, mothers are often plagued by the worry: "Is this, in fact, a form of cruelty inflicted upon my child? Will a child who endures the pain and stress of separation from their mother at such a tender age become mentally vulnerable later in life? Or could this have even more detrimental long-term effects?"

To address this dilemma faced by working mothers, News18 Hindi spoke with Dr. Rajesh Sagar, a Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS), New Delhi. Drawing upon expert advice, let us determine whether mothers whose children attend creches truly need to be concerned.

"Conversely, if even younger children are left at a creche, the risk of them developing psychological distress may increase. Since a child attending a creche is still very young—and is deprived of the emotional support they ought to be receiving from their mother—their mental health may be adversely affected. They could potentially become mentally vulnerable. However, it is important to note that this issue does not necessarily manifest in every child."

"Do children suffering from psychological distress exhibit any specific symptoms?"

"Some children possess a more delicate constitution, rendering them more susceptible to risk factors associated with mental health issues." Consequently, certain symptoms may manifest in them, such as excessive crying, irritability, occasional aggression, refusal to eat, or appearing lethargic, listless, or unwell. This behavior stems from the fact that you have separated the child from their mother. However, it is also observed that while children tend to exhibit such behavior more intensely in the beginning, it gradually subsides as the child begins to adjust to the new environment.

Are such children more prone to developing mental health issues later in life?

Look, this does not happen in every case; however, certain children—specifically those who are "sensitive" (meaning they feel insecure very easily and do not readily socialize with everyone)—may be at a higher risk of developing mental health issues. Furthermore, a multitude of other factors could also be responsible for this.

Is this issue likely to persist indefinitely?

No, not necessarily. It is not inevitable that a child who is currently crying, distressed, or stressed about attending a crèche will remain that way forever. As the child becomes more accustomed to their surroundings and begins to socialize, this distress may diminish; moreover, with a little effort and intervention, the issue can often be resolved. However, there may be some exceptions among children.

Does being away from the mother ever have a positive effect?

Yes, absolutely. Separating a child—even if only for a short period—from their mother (or, more broadly, from their primary secure environment) is actually essential for their development. This is because children who remain entirely dependent on their mothers tend to develop a personality and behavioral pattern characterized by dependency that persists into the future. Therefore, this separation can sometimes be beneficial; being apart from the mother for a while fosters resilience in the child and teaches them survival skills. It encourages the development of individuality—a process that can begin, in small increments, even at a very young age. For this very reason, maintaining a healthy balance is crucial.

If a child spends 10 hours away and 14 hours with their mother, is that considered normal?

Ten hours is a significant amount of time; therefore, it is essential that the caregiver at the facility where the child stays functions effectively as a "co-mother." This distance can be compensated for by taking proper care of the child, building a strong bond with them, and ensuring they feel comfortable and at ease.
Regarding the 10-to-14-hour timeframe, we cannot simply assert that children should never be placed in a crèche; doing so would cause widespread panic, make parents fearful of leaving their children in care, and potentially lead them to quit their jobs. Therefore, it is more accurate to say that for children who are somewhat sensitive or vulnerable, separation from their mother can be particularly difficult.

How can one identify if a child is "delicate" or sensitive? Are there specific signs to look out for?
There are several factors involved; a proper assessment of the child is required. Most importantly, every child is unique, so a single blanket statement cannot apply to everyone. Some children warm up to strangers very quickly, while others might start crying the moment they see someone new. Some children may appear outwardly fine—behaving as if everything is okay—yet they do not seem to genuinely enjoy or seek out your company. Thus, while those who are particularly sensitive may indeed face difficulties, they constitute a relatively small proportion of children.

Every mother is best positioned to understand this about her own child. She can discern what makes her child feel safe and happy. She should observe how much their behavior changes, how they behave regarding their eating and drinking habits, whether their sleep cycle has been disrupted, if they have become irritable, or if they have stopped responding altogether. She should also note how long her child remains distressed after being separated from her, and how long it takes for them to settle down and feel at ease again; these are all observations a mother should keep in mind.

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