Parenting Advice: 'No-shame parenting' simply means separating a child's behavior from their identity. When we say, "You've been a very bad boy," we're shaming them. But when we say, "Your behavior was inappropriate," we're giving them a chance to improve. The goal here isn't to scare the child, but to make them realize their mistake.

According to renowned child psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott, "Children behave the way they feel. If we help them feel good (by giving them love and respect), they'll automatically start behaving well."

Reputed researcher and author Dr. Brené Brown said in one of her books, "Shame is not a tool for improvement, but rather the biggest obstacle to change." When we shame children for their bad behavior, instead of correcting their mistakes, they start considering themselves 'bad'."

Here are the perfect ways to correct mistakes:

1. Explain consequences to children, not 'punishment.'
Punishment means hurting the child, whereas 'consequences' teach responsibility. If a child breaks a toy, instead of scolding them, explain that they won't have that toy to play with. This will teach them to be more careful next time.

2. Build a connection instead of yelling.
When a child makes a mistake, they are already scared. Yelling will only push them away. Sit close to them, look them in the eye, and calmly ask what happened. When a child feels safe, they tell the truth and listen better.

3. Give a 'time-in,' not a 'time-out.'
Parents often lock their child in a room alone (time-out). Use a 'time-in' instead. Sit next to them and help them process their emotions. Ask them, "Are you angry?" Are you? Are you sad?" This helps the child learn to control their emotions.

The tremendous benefits of this approach:

Increased self-esteem: When a child isn't shamed for every little thing, their self-confidence grows. They see themselves as a "good person" who can correct their mistakes.

Increased honesty: Children learn to lie out of fear of punishment. In a "no-shame" environment, they readily admit their mistakes because they know they will be explained with love.

Strengthens bonding: This approach builds a wall of trust between you and your child. Even as they grow older, they will be the first person they will come to with their problems.

Tip for parents:
No-shame parenting isn't just for children; it's also for parents. If you ever lose your temper and yell at your child, don't embarrass yourself. Apologize to your child and show them that adults can correct their mistakes. This will be a great lesson for them.

Remember, discipline means fear. The key is not to create, but to guide. By adopting these principles, you are not only raising a responsible citizen but also laying the foundation for love and respect in your home.

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