Parenting: Is 'mother's love' or 'father's strictness' better for children? The truth about parenting that every parent should know..
- byShikha Srivastava
- 23 Jan, 2026
Positive Parenting: In today's modern era, raising children is nothing short of a complex puzzle. Our elders often say that "a mother's love and a father's strictness" are what keep a child on the right path. But does this "good cop-bad cop" formula really work? Or are we unknowingly negatively impacting the child's delicate mind? After talking to child psychologists and parenting experts, it becomes clear that the real truth of parenting lies in the "balance" that every parent needs to understand. Here's what modern parenting and child psychology say about this:

First point - 'A Mother's Love: The Foundation of Personality': According to psychologists, a mother's unconditional love is like oxygen for a child's mental development.
1. Increased Self-Confidence: A child who receives sufficient affection in childhood develops strong self-esteem. They know that even if they fail, they will find support at home.
2. Sense of Security: Love makes the child feel mentally secure, which reduces problems of stress and anxiety.
Second point - Discipline is the Key to Success: Often, "a father's anger" is considered synonymous with discipline, but experts call it "rules" (setting boundaries) rather than "strictness."
1. Identifying Right and Wrong: Discipline teaches the child that every action reacts. Following certain rules is necessary for living in society.
2. Increased Patience and Self-Control: Children who are disciplined are better able to control their anger and emotions in the future.
Third point - Why is Anger Dangerous? Experts warn that showing "fear" or "anger" in the name of discipline can be harmful to the child.
1. Distance and Lies: If the father is very angry, the child will become afraid of him. This results in the child resorting to lies to hide their mistakes and becoming distant from their father.
2. Aggressive Behavior: Children who witness a lot of anger at home tend to exhibit aggressive behavior at school or in other social settings.
Fourth point: Balance is the Solution: Neither love alone nor strictness alone is sufficient for parenting. The real magic lies in 'authoritative parenting' (disciplined love).
1. Teamwork: Mother and father should communicate as a team. If the father says no to something, the mother shouldn't contradict him by saying yes. This confuses the child and makes them take the rules lightly.
2. Communication: Instead of getting angry, talk to the child. Explain why you said no to something. When the child understands the reason, they are more likely to follow the rule.
3. Love has no limits: Discipline should have limits, but love shouldn't. The child should feel that the punishment is for their 'mistake,' not for them as a person.

So, here's the summary:
Every parent needs to understand that both a mother's affection and a father's guidance (free from anger) are equally important for a child's proper upbringing. Love makes the child a 'human being,' and discipline makes them 'successful.' If these two are combined effectively, the child becomes ready to face every challenge in life.
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