A common complaint heard in families is that the child who constantly worries about their parents often receives less affection than the sibling who shirks their responsibilities. While this may seem like a bitter observation rooted in unfairness, research confirms it is indeed true.

Do parents intentionally treat their children differently?
In reality, parents often feel so reassured by the competence and self-reliance of their high-achieving child that their attention naturally shifts toward the child who is struggling in life. This happens unconsciously; in scientific terms, this is known as 'compensatory parenting.'

Research published in the *Journal of Developmental Economics* in 2009 confirms this. According to the study, parents do not allocate resources out of a deliberate desire to show favoritism. Instead, it is a strategy aimed at bringing the struggling child up to the level of the others and balancing their future prospects.

How does this affect the high-achieving child?
Even if the parents' intentions are not malicious, this dynamic has a profound impact on the children's psychology. A study in the *Journal of Marriage and Family* indicates that when one child receives disproportionate attention, several consequences may follow:

Sibling relationships can deteriorate.
The bond between the parents and that specific child may weaken.
The child's mindset and behavioral patterns in adulthood may change.
Do your children harbor jealousy toward one another?
This can be easily understood through Festinger's 'Social Comparison Theory.' The theory posits that individuals do not determine their self-worth in isolation but rather through comparison with those around them.

When children perceive that a sibling is being given greater importance, it significantly impacts their sense of identity and emotional development. The result is that a child who receives less attention may harbor deep-seated resentment, which can persist well into adulthood. However, it is also true that siblings raised in the same household can perceive the exact same parental behavior from vastly different perspectives.

Why is open communication with children important?
No sensible parent intentionally discriminates among their children; yet, if the situation is not addressed in time, a child's confidence can be shaken, and their perception of their place within the family may shift. A study published by the NIH in the *Journal of Child and Family Studies* offers a straightforward solution: open communication.

If parents clearly explain to their children why they are treating one child differently, the children understand the situation quite easily. When children feel heard and valued, no bitterness takes root in their minds.

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